Get a big driveway, they said.

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck) 02/04/2019 at 16:17 • Filed to: snowmageddon

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It’ll be fun, they said.

In truth is it wasn’t so bad. My neighbor saw me dicking around with a push broom and yard shovel, and handed me his bigly big actually-for-snow shovel. I basically worked up a sweat and wanted to take my coat off even.

A coworker stopped by and dropped off coffee and donuts for me and my wife . He pulled two people out a ditch and jumped another person broken down on I-5. He’s a saint among sinners.   His XV70 plowed through everything laughably.

Vehicles have been mostly cleared for use tomorrow. Although as a precaution I'm cancelling all my appointments again. WOOOOO.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/04/2019 at 16:20

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Was your coworker (an MVP, by the sound of it) just out lulzing as February Santa, or visiting with a purpose?

B_dol > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/04/2019 at 16:21

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Snowblower? Could clear that driveway in half an hour no problem (my wife and I also have a long driveway *facepalm*)

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/04/2019 at 16:21

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“Get a big driveway in a place where it doesn’t snow that much”they meant to say.

lone_liberal > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/04/2019 at 16:22

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Meanwhile my new snowblower sits unused. There’s something wrong with this picture. 

vicali > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/04/2019 at 16:22

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If you had more vehicles there would be less driveway to clear..

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/04/2019 at 16:22

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I wish I had a driveway or garage...

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > B_dol 02/04/2019 at 16:23

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He’s  upper PNW.  He’d get to use it once every 5 years.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/04/2019 at 16:25

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Bro

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/04/2019 at 16:25

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i just skat e around on mine and make it super extra slippy

i dont have a car atmo and i kinda like annoying my neighbours on that side... it doesnt take much

B_dol > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 02/04/2019 at 16:27

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OK that makes sense, couldn’t zoom in on the license plates well enough! enhance...

For Sweden > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/04/2019 at 16:27

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Time for a robot

WRXforScience > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/04/2019 at 16:28

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It hit 80F today here in Texas, no one owns a snow shovel (my dad swept his driveway once last year to get rid of the dusting of snow on his steep driveway).

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 02/04/2019 at 16:29

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An hour with a shovel seems cheaper.

CB > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/04/2019 at 16:33

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I recommend a shovel with a bend in the handle . Easier to throw around.

someassemblyrequired > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/04/2019 at 16:39

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Needs about 23 more Toyota products

ESSSIX GmbH - Accountant/Wagon Thumper > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/04/2019 at 16:42

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At least its not gravel.

vicali > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/04/2019 at 16:42

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or..

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > vicali 02/04/2019 at 16:58

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An even more expensive solution? I’ll take 8!

vicali > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/04/2019 at 16:59

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Well, I mean, this DIY jobbo showed up in the search too, I just didn’t want to give you any ideas..

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/04/2019 at 17:01

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And this is why I use the snowblower. Despite it pissing me off these days, it’s 20 years old and typically only starts with a relatively new spark plug and a shot of carb cleaner into it.

user314 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 02/04/2019 at 17:06

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gogmorgo - rowing gears in a Grand Cherokee > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/04/2019 at 17:17

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I rarely wear a jacket to shovel. You get real cold in a hurry if you soak yourself with sweat. 

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/04/2019 at 18:13

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Just pour gasoline all over it and light it? IDK I'm from Hawaii..

M.T. Blake > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/04/2019 at 18:14

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Buy a tractor. Problem solved.

Move out of snow country. Problem solved.

Start a snow cone business, harvest snow from the driveway. Problem solved.

Launch a satellite with a large mirror. Aim said mirror at driveway. Heat from the space mirror will melt snow before it sticks to driveway. Problem solved

I can do this alllllllllllll day. :D

f86sabre > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/04/2019 at 18:22

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Couldn’t find one of these?

MM54 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/04/2019 at 18:48

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Nearly 60 degrees and sunny here today, thanks for picking up the winter for a little, we’ve enjoyed the break.

Dogsatemypants > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/04/2019 at 19:11

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Use this trick, it’ll save you some time. Just take a garden hose and attach it to your garage sink, turn on hot water, melt snow, lay down ice melt. This assumes you have a bigly hot water heater.

Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer > vicali 02/04/2019 at 21:23

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that’s more his style.

Clown Shoe Pilot > WRXforScience 02/04/2019 at 23:35

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I t was warm and humid in Austin today. I’d like a little more winter please.

functionoverfashion > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/05/2019 at 12:59

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Below are actual images from my local craigslist, since it’s been snowing and anything with a plow on or near it is suddenly worth at least a grand:

Just $1199!

“Plow truck with plow!” $3,800

I hate those plow trucks without a plow.

Long list of “Just needs...” on this one, but only $1,200!

No forward gears, only reverse: $900 obo. I am told plows work best going forward, but what do I know?

Just because you could plow your driveway in 8 seconds, literally. $7,250 seems like a pretty good deal actually.

coolant leak, exhaust leak, blown front suspension, “...this truck is kind of a POS but it does plow...” $2,250:

Then this. I’ll just leave this here:

Is this a cell phone image of a computer screen of a surveillance camera of the truck actively plowing snow? This looks more like a “help us catch this hit and run driver” than “please give me $7,000 for my truck”